À Copenhague

Copenhagen was a pitstop we made in-between Italy and Amsterdam to kill some time before we had to be in the Netherlands for a concert, but it was the best decision we could have made. Upon landing, we discovered that Denmark did not use the Euro, which surprised all of us when we had to use Kroner instead! We found our hostel, which was absolutely incredible and if I ever return is where I would stay again (as long as I’m in my 20’s – sharing a room with 11 other people isn’t always my preference). It had a full bar and an amazing staff, and we met some incredible people along the way. We napped for a while after a nightmare experience at the smaller airport in Rome and head out for a quick outing into town to get our bearings and get necessities. Megan had an awesome friend she met when he studied abroad at her university in the states who lives right outside of the city, and he and his family invited us over for dinner – Danish pizza! It was awesome to hangout with a local and meet a friend, and hopefully if Meg and I ever make our way back to Copenhagen in the future we will meet up with Jonas.

The next day was spent in the windy, unpredictable weather of northern Europe doing a walking tour. Though cold, I got incredible pictures, and our tour guide was an awesome Danish dude who kept us all engaged and made it very fun (his name on TripAdvisor is Danish Daniel for anyone looking at trips or tours through Copenhagen). The tour took us through most of the city – that has been rebuilt 5 times after a slew of fires – and ended in the royal gardens right near the royal palace of Denmark. We also learned that the queen of Denmark is a super cool lady, and she illustrated the book covers for the Lord of the Rings books. We met up with Jonas again after stopping in the shopping district to get gloves, hats, scarves, and everything that could keep us warmer. He took us to this little community within Copenhagen, Christiania. It is a small community set next to a lake with a beautiful lake (pictured below) where certain recreational activities are “legal”. Basically the Danish police turn a blind eye to marijuana within this community because they would rather it happen within these walls than all over the streets of the city. When we went, it was about a week after a massive police raid within the community, so there was a lot of tension between the members of Christiania and the government. But it was something cool to see and learn about!

After heading back to our hostel for a little bit, we decided to hop on a train to Malmø, Sweden because it was only a 30 minute train ride away. This was a spontaneous adventure but it was so fun for me! It put Sweden much higher on my bucket list, and I would love to travel north up the country when I return. The train ride home was a little stressful due to an airline ticket malfunction but with a quick stop to the airport we fixed the situation and head to the hostel bar for some drinks before bed.

The next day we climbed up the city hall steeple for a beautiful panoramic view of the city and Sweden if you looked reeeeeally closely before I had to head off to the airport once again for yet another adventure… Amsterdam! In my opinion, I can see why the Danes are some of the happiest people on Earth. Good people, good drinks, good food, and amazing culture.

En Italie

*Though I was in Rome almost two months ago now, I’m able to recall much of the Italian (as well as Danish and Dutch) leg of this trip through my journal, something I figured I would put on my blog for my family!*

Rome. Land of ancient history. Home of Caesar. A heart for tourism around the world. All of these things and so much more are what made me fall in love at first sight. After hitting the basic tourist attractions like the Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, Spanish Steps, Piazza de Venezia, and the Vatican I decided I loved the ambiance of this place more than the attractions it offered. It’s narrow side streets and tall apartments with laundry drying outside of the windows made it feel like a small town rather than a huge city. It was clean in and around the outskirts of the city, and I never felt threatened by pickpockets or theft. The food was (obviously) amazing. And I mean AMAZING. Alongside the good eats, my inner nerd was loving all of the history that I had learned about so many times in elementary school that I always found so interesting. I was able to find a statue of Caesar (thanks Meg, Allison, and Sam), something I didn’t shut up about the whole time we were there. Surrounded by good friends, great food, gelato, and just about everything else you can think of, the experience of Rome is a once in a lifetime opportunity enriching for everyone. I was both sad but excited to head to our next stop….

Naples. Home of pizza and in my opinion, true Italian culture. A bit more rugged than Rome as a major port city, Naples has a character that can’t be beat. Though it took us almost half of the day and lots of asking for directions, we finally found our way to the highest point in Naples that was also an ancient fort back in the day. It offered amazing panoramic views of the entire city, including the Mediterranean and yes, Mount Vesuvius (which we devastatingly couldn’t make it to). Our hostel was quaint in the heart of more winding, narrow streets where we met some awesome people who told us about a hike along the coastline entering Positano. We bit the bullet and woke up nice and early, almost missed our bus, got some Mozzarella and prosciutto sandwiches in the mozzarella capital of the world, and set off. It seemed easy enough at first, but we were soon scaling the side of pretty tall cliffs, goats included! The views were absolutely breathtaking, we couldn’t get enough. We encountered some cat friends, tried homegrown limes, and after walking down 1500 stairs, we finally made it to the town that awaited us to catch the bus to Positano along the Amalfi Coast. The bus ride was terrifying, but beautiful. We finally got to Positano and wandered around, taking in the beautiful homes on the hillside overlooking the Mediterranean on a black sand beach. We got some cannoli and gelato and walked back to the bus stop to catch our next bus to Sorrento, where my grandmother’s family comes from. Though we couldn’t be there for more than a couple of hours, we walked along streets lined with lemon trees in the limoncello capital. With Mount Vesuvius in the distance and the Mediterranean at our feet, we enjoyed some Spritz and watched the sunset on Halloween before heading back to Naples by train to get our stuff and head to the airport for our next adventure in Copenhagen!

Italy was an incredible eye-opening experience, and I can’t wait to one day to return to the eastern side to explore more of the Italian culture and language.   

The Real Study Abroad Experience

When college students picture studying abroad it’s all the same: endless brochures of girls smiling and cheering in the streets with endless bottles of wine and every cool landmark of any country you can imagine. What many don’t realize is that studying abroad is actually nothing like how it’s advertised. Many people don’t realize the plethora of emotions that come with moving across the world.

I was aware of this due to the ISP program that I’m lucky to a part of at UMass with 19 other wonderful students who have made this experience easier for me and I can’t wait to share experiences when we’re all back together as a class. Last semester, we listened to the one of the senior presentations discussing the issues between what we think it’ll be like to live abroad and what it’s actually like. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve loved living in France. It’s been an adjustment, but it teaches you so much more about yourself.

Of course when I first got to Paris I was head over heels in love with the city that I had always dreamed of going to. But even looking at the Eiffel Tower from the top of l’Arc de Triomphe I found myself feeling like I wasn’t absorbing the full experience. I’m not sure what I even expected coming to France, because I knew every expectation I could go over with would probably be unlike what it actually was.

As you can probably tell from my first few blog posts, everything about France was getting under my skin for a while. And then I went through a period of accepting and loving it, and I’m basically at the point now where I love it here but I need to prioritize my life at home. I’ve traveled a lot, but not as much as I’d like. But I also need to graduate on time. It’s been a lot of me trying to make the best decisions for myself while trying not to hurt anyone else. It’s been a lot of watching Netflix on the weekends because I can’t face the world that day. It’s been a lot of self-doubting and wondering if I could do this. But it’s been amazing and exhilarating. Traveling definitely gives you that sense of wanderlust and I intend to see a lot more of the world. But living somewhere is different. Once you see all of the cool stuff and start to settle into a routine, life becomes kind of mundane. I’ve met a lot of cool people over here, but they can’t always be there to entertain you every second of every day. I’ve felt like I’ve been wasting a lot of my time. I’ve felt guilt and disappointment in myself because I’m way too hard on myself. I’ve learned to be kinder to myself but to always challenge myself. And now I have to decide whether staying here or going home is better for me. I have to decide between what I want (traveling, pushing myself) and what I need (more structure with school, school at home to graduate in four years). In the end, graduating a semester later wouldn’t be the end of the world. Financially, however, I’m not sure if I can swing that. I also don’t want to stay here or be at home for good and suddenly be full of regret. It’s been an emotional couple of weeks for me, after being mugged and having one of the worst Thanksgivings ever. I’ve been doing my best to keep a positive attitude and reach out to as many people as I can for advice. The worst part about it is no one can give you an answer on what to do, because ultimately it is my life and I need to do what makes me happy. Man, being the anxious indecisive person that I am is really not coming in handy for me lately.

Don’t get me wrong, I am gracious that I’ve had this experience and that I even have this problem. I just want to do the right thing for me and make other people aware that studying abroad doesn’t have to be happiness at every second of every day, because there’s going to be really low lows and high highs for everyone.

Now instead of bitching about my feelings, I’m going to start my blog post about Italy finally.

München

We arrived at Munich Airport at 5pm with one thing on our minds: beer. It’s Munich in September, so I’m actually sure everyone is thinking of beer. We ran from the airport to Central Station, where we found some REALLY cute lederhosen costumes for Oktoberfest (if you don’t sense my sarcasm, now you know how much I hated that stupid dress). On the train, I was immediately overwhelmed by my inability to understand anyone or even make out any words in German. It’s so unlike French or English, and since it was my first time leaving France since I got there about a month before, I wasn’t sure what to expect.

When we got to our little hostel I realized quickly that mostly everyone would know enough English to get me by. We checked in quick, tied up our lederhosen, and head out to start the Oktoberfest festivities. We found our friend’s friend and set off to find a tent.

To be honest, Oktoberfest wasn’t really everything I thought it’d be. It was more like a fair or carnival with these really big tents that you can drink giant liters of beers out of (not complaining). We ended up finding room on a bench outside one of the big tents and got some beers. It was 13 EURO for one stein of beer, so we all got one and decided we didn’t have it in our wallets to buy another. We hung out, I watched the crowd, and since it was getting pretty cold we decided to go to the hostel. I easily fell asleep, safe to be said. . .

The next day my friend Meg and I decided to wander around the city while our friend Allison and her friend Matt went to his camp to get his things before he had to head back to his university in northern Germany. We had decided to go to Dachau Concentration Camp and the whole time we were on the way there, I was really nervous. I knew it was going to be an emotional experience and I knew that it’d be a lot to take in. It’s one thing to read about the horrible things that happened during the Holocaust but it’s a totally different thing to see the physical contained area where tens of thousands of people were murdered. It felt weird taking pictures, because I felt I was being disrespectful to the people that had died there but at the same time I felt compelled to take pictures to show others what I had actually seen. The memorial was finished with a wall that said “never again” in several languages and it stuck with me. Never again to such atrocities, never again to such violence, never again to such hate. And I believe that this rings true to the current state of the world today. Please don’t let hate rule over love. Let the light in.

On a lighter note, Munich was a beautiful city and I’m very glad that during our short time in Germany we could see so much of one of its most beautiful cities. I’ll definitely be back to Germany next semester, even if AS much beer won’t be involved.

Next stop: Rome!

It’s Time

I’m back! It’s been two months since my last post on the blog and for my family that’s been following me, I want to say I’m sorry.

I am going to go through and do a blogpost for each trip I’ve been on since my last post. I believe that includes Munich and Oktoberfest, Rome, Naples, Sorrento, Copenhagen, and Amsterdam.

For anyone who doesn’t know yet, I got mugged on Tuesday. It was horrifying, I realized I trust stupid people way too easily, but in the end I’m safe and phones can be replaced. Luckily, all of my pictures saved to my laptop so I didn’t lose any of the pictures I’ve taken since I’ve been in Europe. Thank God – because this probably would’ve sent me over the edge.

I’ve actually been in kind of a funk following the events of Tuesday evening, as anyone would be probably. A few days later it was Thanksgiving and I missed my family way more than I anticipated. The next day it was my Gram’s birthday, and all I wanted was to be home to see her. I’ve been in bed if I’m not in class. I’m afraid to go outside. I’m not sure how to get a new phone or where to even begin getting a new iPhone for when I’m home and if I even want to get a phone for the remainder of this semester. French bureaucracy makes the whole process of dealing with the police totally terrifying for me because I’m not an unusually outspoken person (especially in French) and French authorities aren’t the cute French guys in the movies that everyone thinks they are. But these are all things to be resolved. My main decision now will be if I decide to stay in Europe for next semester or not following all of these events.

Opting to stay will mean much more experience in France, which I love. Next semester I’d also be moving into an apartment with one of my good friends Megan so I wouldn’t be living in a tiny box and that would probably bring my morale up about 200%. I’ll get to see my family in January for about three weeks. But it’ll also mean probably graduating a semester later, living in fear for another five months, and overall having to deal with the negative things that are just facts of life in another country. But it’s something I’ve always wanted and really want to do for myself because after this week I’ve realized I need to start doing things for me. I have the tendency to let people walk all over me and I’m finally done with it.

So while I could continue my pity party, it’s time to move on from a lot of things in 2016 – recent or not. I’m spending the rest of this year focusing on me, working myself off of the things we keep ourselves glued to the phone for, and continuing to do things for me.

I’ll write my travel blogs sometime this week, when it’s not 3 AM. I just wanted to give everyone a little piece of my thoughts following this week!!

France Fallacies

It’s currently 00:51 (almost 1AM) in Lyon. I’m considering it early compared to how I have been sleeping (which is barely). I’ve been tossing and turning at night until the next thing I look at the clock and its 05:00. I’ve been taking Benadryl the last few nights to try and get to sleep earlier, and it’s been working but I need to go to a pharmacy in town and get some melatonin. They don’t have supplements like that in stores at home like I’m used to, but it’ll be good to talk to someone about something new!

I’ve been trying to reflect on why I haven’t been sleeping, which isn’t really new for me. I’ve definitely been noticing that it is hard to go to sleep when you’re six hours ahead of everyone at home and you want to talk to your friends, family, and that one person that you’re bummed you can’t be on schedule with.

The food is also catching up to me because my stomach has been absolutely furious with me lately. So I’ve been super tired, irritable, and hindering stomach pains. But I can’t really complain. The bread is too good to not eat.

I also recently found out that my ISP professor, Tim Lang, is retiring and I’ve been super bummed out about it. He has been so supportive and wonderful through our seminars about how to prepare for studying abroad and I’m sad that he won’t be there to help guide our class through graduation. But I have to give him major credit. Almost a month into my time in France, I’m now noticing the subtle cultural differences that weren’t so noticeable when all of this was brand new. I won’t go into specifics because I don’t mean to be offending and I don’t want to come across as judgmental. I just wasn’t expecting it to be so different than home here! But I’m keeping in mind all that we did in class and I’m keeping an open mind. I’m aware that getting aggravated is just a sign that you’re facing culture shock, so I just have to push through it. This too shall pass.

Last Thursday marked my first day of school as an official French student. We are following a program set up by the CIEF, a program for international students in France. It’s intensive and a bit heavy. For example, I take 11 classes a week. Each class runs for an hour and 45 minutes. Ten of them meet once a week and the remaining elective (taught in English) meets twice a week. If it wasn’t a requirement for my political science major back home I would probably drop it, but that is unfortunately not possible. Since it hasn’t even been a full week yet, I can’t really gauge just how intensive the classes will get. But so far they seem reasonable. I’m actually kind of excited because I just want to be speaking French. I’ve learned the same repetitive grammar rules in high school, and then again at UMass, and now it seems I will here too. But they have us speaking a lot, which is my main focus while I’m here.

Homesickness is slowly starting to creep in. My best friend’s family, practically my second family (shout out to the Cullinan’s) is going through a lot right now. Her older sister is about to have her firstborn and I won’t be there to meet the little princess. It’s been making me really sad, but she’s taking her sweet time entering the world! Mands, if you’re reading this, hang in there. My thoughts are with you always!! I’m also really missing my own sister and my niece and nephew. They’re going to be so big when I’m home and I already can’t wait to give them all the biggest hug they’ve ever gotten in their lives from their favorite sister/ aunt. And my brother, who naturally barely talks to me as he’s a typical 14 year old boy, who will probably be like a little man by the time I’m home. It’s weird how life goes on even when you’re not there. But it’s always great to hear from everyone, so send me a message if you haven’t already! You’ll make my day, I promise.

Until next time, bonsoir.

 

This one’s a little different…

Hey guys.

This post isn’t one I’m going to share on Facebook, so I don’t expect a lot of people to see it right away. Reasons for this will become obvious, but I mostly just need somewhere to vent.

I’m currently going through my first break-up from my first real relationship. We were together for about two and a half years, so adjusting from going to talking everyday to not at all is strange.

We agreed to stay together even though he was going to college 14 hours away. Oddly enough, that wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was when I found out he cheated on me and lied about it for a year. The hard part was when he chose to study abroad in a place we had never talked about and never talked to me about going there. The hard part was when he lied to me about doing drugs.

And stupidly, I thought we could still make it work! So I stayed. And now I know I will never do that to myself again. I lost so much of myself in that relationship. . . he stole me from my friends but got mad at me when I didn’t want to spend as much time with him and his friends. My friends hated him. That should’ve been my first clue. He would get mad at me for doing the same things he would do, even though I wouldn’t be angry. He called me names I will never allow another human being to call me again. He was manipulative, controlling, and honestly just mean at times. But I was “in love”.

And now here I am in France, trying to deal with adjusting to this culture and losing my first love. But I’m not even that upset, which is weird. I think it’s because I knew it was over as soon as he left. We had a horrible summer. I wanted to beg him not to leave. I wanted to run away together. I wanted nothing more than to have him by my side through everything and I was so sure he felt the same way. He told me I was his future. He told me he would never hurt me. But isn’t that what they all say? I should’ve ran as fast as I could as soon as I found out he slept with someone else. I never trusted him after that. He even cheated on his girlfriend before me (which was also a long term relationship) reinforcing the good ol’ saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”. Never again.

I vow to myself right now that I will NEVER let another person make me feel the things he did. I will NEVER allow a person to make me feel so low. I will become the only person I ever need to rely on. Because now I know that you’re the only one you can ever REALLY trust. Now I know that in future relationships, if something doesn’t feel right, it means it’s not right. I know as soon as I feel myself falling out of love I need to leave because it will only lead to more pain.

The relief I feel to finally be free of something so painful can only be a sign of moving on (I hope). I just want to be happy. And I know this is good for both of us. He needed to grow up, I need someone I can grow with. Being in France is so good for me right now, where I can travel and feel exhilarated and love life and feel small by the places I’m seeing. And I honestly wish the best for him, but my feelings towards him are very bitter. He will always be my first love, but the things he made me feel will stay in the past with him. I never want to feel those feelings ever again.  So if you ever find yourself reading this, which I doubt will happen, good luck to you. I hope you can change. I hope you can learn from all of the things that we did wrong during our time together. And I hope you never do those things to someone else, because no one ever deserves to feel that way.

– Kelsey

My first week in Lyon

It’s been exactly a week since my mom left Lyon and I moved into my housing. I’ve faced quite a few obstacles, as expected. First I spent probably $200 using my phone, because the internet in my dorm is absolutely horrendous. I then got a French SIM card for my phone, only to realize it wouldn’t work unless I paid my phone off. So I finally did that, and got my phone to work. However, the Internet situation is less than ideal in my building and around town, and I usually try to stick to using Wifi.

I am living in a dorm with other international and French students. I’ve made some great friends since moving in, and we’ve been exploring the city and our school together. We went to a big park to the north of the city today and it was absolutely beautiful. It definitely is my favorite place here thus far. However, where we live is just not what I ever imagined. It’s definitely going to be an adjustment. I barely fit in my shower because it is so small, my bathroom has a weird scent to it that is NOT from me, and my room is the size of the average American’s closet. My room has been infested with bugs since I’ve been here, so despite the heat, I’m forced to keep my window closed at night for sake of my sanity. One of my friends had a room that had a weird smell throughout, and today he discovered it was from a funky odor coming from his fridge drain. It’s just been disgusting, and not something I was prepared for. It’s especially difficult when there are some students with actual apartments with three spacious bedrooms and wifi and I was put here because my program decided to disregard my entire housing preference form . . . but that’s a different story and is completely out of control at this point in time.

I don’t want to make it seem like I’m having a bad time, France has actually been amazing since I’ve been here. The French just do not live like Americans are used to. They have much smaller homes, don’t waste as much as we do (which is a great thing), and don’t even buy food like I’m used to. I go to the market almost everyday to get food for the day/ following day and that’s it. It’s not like at home where you buy food to get you through the week. Air conditioning is also a foreign concept here as are screens (hence, the bugs).

I have started one of my classes at my university about the government and politics in France, which I’m excited for – beware, I’m a nerd. It only meets twice a week, and when French classes start sometime next week I will be spending up to 24 hours in the classroom per week. But I’m excited for French classes to begin so the process of fluency can finally begin, because speaking to people has been very difficult for me. I’ve been very hard on myself because of how long I’ve been taking French (seven years) and my lack to hold a conversation with the average French person. I had an oral placement exam on Monday and wanted to run out screaming after. I just have to keep telling myself it is something that will come with time.

I’m sorry that this post is kind of a downer, but I knew that every entry wouldn’t be all smiles and roses and beautiful stories about the Eiffel Tower. Hopefully time will make it better as I become more adjusted, and now that I kind of figured out the Internet on my laptop, I should be able to post a little more frequently. Stay tuned 🙂

Leaving Paris

Tonight’s a sad night…

But not really! I am sad to leave Paris. It has blown my expectations out of the water. I was expecting a dirty, smelly city. Instead, I was astonished at how clean it actually was. And it was as beautiful as I imagined.

However, there was a heat wave the week we arrived (obviously). It was almost 35 degrees C (~100 F for my Americans) and there is no air conditioning. Like, anywhere. All of the cafés and restaurants have no front windows in the summer, so you cannot even escape to the cool indoors to enjoy a meal. Not that it wasn’t enjoyable, but I was a sweaty blob by the ends of most days.

But today was our last day and it was beautiful. The sun was shining, but not too hot, and there was a lovely breeze. We walked along the Seine with a breathtaking view of la Tour Eiffel and went all the way to the Louvre. We mostly just wanted to see the Mona Lisa, for obvious reasons, and then went to discover the Egyptian artifact wing. It was pretty cool for someone who isn’t big on art. We only had about an hour and a half to explore, but we made the best of it (while climbing the many stairs included inside the huge museum).

There are no Walmarts or Targets in France, but Jenna, my mom, and I found the French equivalent to them (!!!). It’s a cute store called Monoprix, and like Target they have cute clothes, food, and decor. This was a huge find for me because I was having severe separation anxiety from my one true love, Target.

Overall, I loved staying in Paris, but now it is time to go to Lyon, try to get settled, and speak some real French. I am excited and also a little nervous to be seeing where I’ll be going to school for the next couple of semesters!

Until next time. . .

The road to Lyon – Paris

Hey everyone.

For anyone who doesn’t know me, my name is Kelsey. Friends call me Kels, but there are a few who love to call me Kdog, Kmoney, or Kmoney slumdog millionaire (don’t ask, it’s a weird story). I’ve also been head over heals in love with France since I was about 10 years old, and now ten years later I get to live out my dream of living in France.

I am not afraid to admit that I am absolutely blown away by the beauty of an old city, the architecture, the history, or the monuments. For me, Paris has always felt like my happy place even though I had never been there. I would sit on Google Earth on my laptop in class and travel the streets of Paris virtually. So much so that when I finally got here, I un-shamefully had a great sense of direction.

I major in French and Political Science at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. That being said, my spoken French is horrible. I can do it, but my fear and anxiety gets in the way. While my mind knows what to say, when I go to say something it sounds like a jumble of broken French with a mix of gibberish. But that’s why I’m here!

But to speak French in a city as big as Paris has been hard, and I’ve been here for a mere five days. Francophiles immediately recognize my American accent and start speaking to me in English, even if I solider on in French. It’s agonizing, because I want to learn to speak to real French people without feeling like they’re burning holes in my soul just because I’m just trying to communicate with them.

Therefore, when I made my decision to study abroad I decided to avoid Paris. I wanted a smaller city with less fuss from tourists and friendlier people (not that the people of Paris haven’t been lovely during my stay here). So with some research, deliberation, and a last minute change of heart, I finally decided to study for both semesters of my junior year in Lyon, a region of south-west France about an hour and a half from Geneva, Switzerland. Needless to say I’m ecstatic, but also apprehensive as 10 months of living on my own in a foreign country approaches.

I’m currently with my mom in the Montmartre region of Paris (18th arrondissement) until August 29, when her, my friend/ classmate/ travel companion Jenna, and I head down to Lyon a few days early to get a feel of the city. I move into my housing (a small single dorm room – I don’t want to talk about it) on September 1st. Classes start soon after that. After the 1st, my mom will head home and I will truly be alone in the world like I know anything about anything.

I decided to make this blog for educational purposes regarding my thesis senior year, but also as a form of self-reflection. I would like to see myself grow through this experience and be able to look back on where I started. So for now, I’m just enjoying being the classic American tourist in the beautiful city of Paris, until my new life begins in Lyon.